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I've been taking some VHS tapes of old movie film and putting them on my computer to make a DVD this week, and it has been somewhat joyful and sad at the same time.
Joyful because, in most cases, I can actually remember the event (except for those films of around age 3 or so...to many years have skipped by) and the video just brought those memories back. Sad because some of the video had audio, and hearing the voices of those that have passed on just made me miss them more.
But, my hope is that those who were not here while those saints were, will have a glimpse of the special people they were and the fun that we had while we were together. I've made some closed groups on Facebook to share them with other family members and hope they will do the same.
I encourage you to think about doing this yourself before those memories slip away. Sometimes, it is nice to hear those voices from the past once again.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Loss and Choice
This time of the year is hard on people. For some, the holidays are not "holly" but long, endless times of pain and sorrow as they remember people they used to share them with, traditions they had, and conversations they shared. In the now nearly 7 years since my transplant, my family has had its share of loss as well. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, special people in our lives that we shared those same memories with. I've spoken at some of their services and grieved with their families. And for some reason, this year I've thought of them more than I have any other.
I realize that I am fortunate to still have both of my parents in my life...many that I know do not. I was reminded of that by a complete stranger this evening, and it caused me to do some thinking. I never take the time I spend with my family for granted because 8 years ago I was afraid I was spending my last Christmas with them. I even had us take a family picture together on Christmas Day, something that rarely happens because I'm the photographer in the family. But I wanted there to be a lasting memory of a great day "just in case".
Fortunately for my family, someone else's grief gave me life. I always think of my donor family at this time of the year. I know it can't be easy, even after 7 years, because I know how I feel about those special people I've lost. But I have chosen to try to look on the positive side of life and not dwell on the "what could have beens". I choose to spend any time I can with my family, however great or small it may be, because I understand that one day I may not have those moments again. I choose to spend my evenings helping kids who have made major mistakes in their lives in hope that they will learn and grow from it in a positive manner. I choose to fight for what I believe in because I feel it is right to do so, even if it does go against the popular stance that others want me to follow.
It doesn't take much time to go to a local elderly facility and spend time with the people who are there, who often don't have visitors during the holiday season. It doesn't take much money to buy a single mother with a couple of children a meal without them knowing about it. It does give you a warm feeling inside knowing that you might have made a difference in their day.
There are many families that have lost loved ones that are spending the holiday in pain. When we are in pain, we often do crazy things. Sometimes, those choices are life altering. And many times, a phone call from a friend, a short visit just to see how things are going, or a card or letter are simple ways to show those in pain that they are not forgotten. If you have a moment, I encourage you to do that. You never know the impact it may have.
Choices can change by simple acts.
Won't you act?
I realize that I am fortunate to still have both of my parents in my life...many that I know do not. I was reminded of that by a complete stranger this evening, and it caused me to do some thinking. I never take the time I spend with my family for granted because 8 years ago I was afraid I was spending my last Christmas with them. I even had us take a family picture together on Christmas Day, something that rarely happens because I'm the photographer in the family. But I wanted there to be a lasting memory of a great day "just in case".
Fortunately for my family, someone else's grief gave me life. I always think of my donor family at this time of the year. I know it can't be easy, even after 7 years, because I know how I feel about those special people I've lost. But I have chosen to try to look on the positive side of life and not dwell on the "what could have beens". I choose to spend any time I can with my family, however great or small it may be, because I understand that one day I may not have those moments again. I choose to spend my evenings helping kids who have made major mistakes in their lives in hope that they will learn and grow from it in a positive manner. I choose to fight for what I believe in because I feel it is right to do so, even if it does go against the popular stance that others want me to follow.
It doesn't take much time to go to a local elderly facility and spend time with the people who are there, who often don't have visitors during the holiday season. It doesn't take much money to buy a single mother with a couple of children a meal without them knowing about it. It does give you a warm feeling inside knowing that you might have made a difference in their day.
There are many families that have lost loved ones that are spending the holiday in pain. When we are in pain, we often do crazy things. Sometimes, those choices are life altering. And many times, a phone call from a friend, a short visit just to see how things are going, or a card or letter are simple ways to show those in pain that they are not forgotten. If you have a moment, I encourage you to do that. You never know the impact it may have.
Choices can change by simple acts.
Won't you act?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The Best Gift
As the holiday season comes and everyone gets in the rush of finding the "perfect gift" for those in their family, I'm always reminded that I have already gotten the "perfect gift"...my second heart. As you rush around in your shopping, stop a second and think about having that conversation with your family and make a committment to be an organ donor.
Most donor hearts last 10-20 years, and to keep them that long transplant patients have to take some very strong anti-rejection drugs that have some pretty serious side effects, all of which vary from patient to patient. I'm approaching year 8 this February, but I'm not worried about the future. These extra years have been another gift, and I've tried to find ways to really enjoy them to their fullest.
All who know me also know that I'm a big Oklahoma State fan, so I am really enjoying this football season. Thanks to the generosity of my little brother, who donated to the Tulsa Zoo auction and won 2 suite tickets with parking to Bedlam, my father and I will be attending (weather permitting). The last time I was at an OSU game was about a year before the transplant and I could barely walk into the stadium and was so tired that I slept on the way home. This time will be different...I'm going to enjoy every second of it!
I don't take the future for granted anymore. I may be fortunate enough to have a heart that will last 20 years without a problem...and I may not. I might be fortunate enough to be given a second heart at some point. But, if the worse were to come, I want to know that I took advantage of every extra day by helping someone else, made a difference in someone's life, and tried to be a good example to those around me. A person can't ask for a better life than that!
Most donor hearts last 10-20 years, and to keep them that long transplant patients have to take some very strong anti-rejection drugs that have some pretty serious side effects, all of which vary from patient to patient. I'm approaching year 8 this February, but I'm not worried about the future. These extra years have been another gift, and I've tried to find ways to really enjoy them to their fullest.
All who know me also know that I'm a big Oklahoma State fan, so I am really enjoying this football season. Thanks to the generosity of my little brother, who donated to the Tulsa Zoo auction and won 2 suite tickets with parking to Bedlam, my father and I will be attending (weather permitting). The last time I was at an OSU game was about a year before the transplant and I could barely walk into the stadium and was so tired that I slept on the way home. This time will be different...I'm going to enjoy every second of it!
I don't take the future for granted anymore. I may be fortunate enough to have a heart that will last 20 years without a problem...and I may not. I might be fortunate enough to be given a second heart at some point. But, if the worse were to come, I want to know that I took advantage of every extra day by helping someone else, made a difference in someone's life, and tried to be a good example to those around me. A person can't ask for a better life than that!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Give Thanks
This is the month of Thankfulness, and as it begins I start reflecting about all I should be thankful for and there is a lot. I know time won't allow me to write everyday so I'm going to try to get it all down now.
First, I'm thankful for my family and friends who were there in my darkest days and still there now. My parents, brother and sister-in-law who gave me room to make the biggest decision of my life without judgement and who continue to help and support me in too numerous ways to name. I'm thankful for the friends who were on standby to get me to the hospital, who sat with me the time before the transplant and never let me be scared or worried. Who came to the hospital and sat with my family. Who continue to support me almost 8 years later. To name them individually would take up too many pages.
I'm thankful for the life of Tiffany Mashore Fleehart who, even before she had a driver's license, made the decision to be an organ donor. This month is both her birthday month and her wedding anniversary month. I understand, through conversations her grandmother and my father have recently had, that her little brother is now deployed. I pray for his safety and the safety of many others.
I'm thankful that, to date, I have gotten nothing but good reports on my health with only some minor issues. Each time I go to clinic and I see fewer and fewer of our group there, I'm reminded that it could change easily.
I'm thankful that I continue to be able to work with kids even though the docs weren't sure it was a good idea being around all those "germie kids". At both sites that I've been to after the transplant the kids have been great about doing everything they needed to in order for me to stay healthy.
I'm thankful that I work for a district that has supported me from day one of this adventure. Whether it be shortening my days before the transplant to just get through the day to going for the 30 plus biopsy tests.
I'm thankful that I have a job and insurance during these tough economic times. Without insurance my meds would run $4000 or more a month. Lots of people complain about insurance costs...I never will.
I'm thankful for the memories I have of those no longer with us who were there for me during these years. For Uncle Jim who stayed hours upon hours at the hospital for the trial runs and the actual transplant itself. For Joanne who was there for the "procedure that became the ordeal" at the start and the many days after. For grandparents who had instilled strength and faith that I would fall back on and still do.
I'm thankful for the two school staffs and all the administrators that I have and continue to work with who gave me room to keep my independence but would either offer or just step in when I needed help or rest.
I'm thankful for the soldiers who are away from their families protecting us and others. Katie and Kyle, I am especially thankful for you and your commitment to serve. I know it is a hardship on you and your family but I also know you wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm thankful to be alive, because it so easily could be the other way.
Give Thanks. Often.
First, I'm thankful for my family and friends who were there in my darkest days and still there now. My parents, brother and sister-in-law who gave me room to make the biggest decision of my life without judgement and who continue to help and support me in too numerous ways to name. I'm thankful for the friends who were on standby to get me to the hospital, who sat with me the time before the transplant and never let me be scared or worried. Who came to the hospital and sat with my family. Who continue to support me almost 8 years later. To name them individually would take up too many pages.
I'm thankful for the life of Tiffany Mashore Fleehart who, even before she had a driver's license, made the decision to be an organ donor. This month is both her birthday month and her wedding anniversary month. I understand, through conversations her grandmother and my father have recently had, that her little brother is now deployed. I pray for his safety and the safety of many others.
I'm thankful that, to date, I have gotten nothing but good reports on my health with only some minor issues. Each time I go to clinic and I see fewer and fewer of our group there, I'm reminded that it could change easily.
I'm thankful that I continue to be able to work with kids even though the docs weren't sure it was a good idea being around all those "germie kids". At both sites that I've been to after the transplant the kids have been great about doing everything they needed to in order for me to stay healthy.
I'm thankful that I work for a district that has supported me from day one of this adventure. Whether it be shortening my days before the transplant to just get through the day to going for the 30 plus biopsy tests.
I'm thankful that I have a job and insurance during these tough economic times. Without insurance my meds would run $4000 or more a month. Lots of people complain about insurance costs...I never will.
I'm thankful for the memories I have of those no longer with us who were there for me during these years. For Uncle Jim who stayed hours upon hours at the hospital for the trial runs and the actual transplant itself. For Joanne who was there for the "procedure that became the ordeal" at the start and the many days after. For grandparents who had instilled strength and faith that I would fall back on and still do.
I'm thankful for the two school staffs and all the administrators that I have and continue to work with who gave me room to keep my independence but would either offer or just step in when I needed help or rest.
I'm thankful for the soldiers who are away from their families protecting us and others. Katie and Kyle, I am especially thankful for you and your commitment to serve. I know it is a hardship on you and your family but I also know you wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm thankful to be alive, because it so easily could be the other way.
Give Thanks. Often.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Welcome To My Box
While I don't always enjoy the entire content, I do enjoy watching Sex In The City because, finally, someone actually understands how it feels to be single in today's world. The issues with relationships with both the opposite and same sex, trying to live an exciting life on your own in today's world, the use of labels when you don't fit the "norm", the writing just nails it all.
This weekend two of my favorite episodes were on. The first involves when Carrie turns 35 and she finds herself without someone special to share it with...except her other 3 soulmates...her friends Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha...even though they failed in their attempt to give her a fantastic birthday party. Carrie gets a flyer for joining a singles group and they get into a discussion as to whether they are defined by the men in their lives. This is where we discover how old Samantha is when they have to answer one of the questions on the singles survey - which box fits your age. I like this one because all of them finally realize that they don't have to be defined by being involved with anyone to be happy and that they have someone who will always be there to support them, care for them, and have their back. Carrie mentions how sad it made her to turn 35 and have no real man to take her to dinner, to treat her nice, etc. and I can relate to that. But, I too have some very special "soulmates" who have my back and are always there when I need them. Interestingly enough, their husbands often times fall into the "guys we just can have fun with" category as well. I think everyone needs to have these kind of "soulmates" in their lives to get through the days we face. Male or female, married or single, having these soulmates just makes the days easier to get through. I thank God every day that I have the soulmates I do.
The other one involves Carrie becoming a model for a fashion show as one of the New York "normal" people and Samantha deciding to have nude photos of her body (at age 44) taken so that when she is old and wrinkled she can remember what she looked like. I admire Samantha because she has that self confidence in herself that she is willing to do something that most women are scared of doing...putting herself out there for everyone to see. Carrie goes through this period of not knowing if she's good enough to do it to realizing that she's just a "real" person. In fact, one of my favorite lines in the entire series comes from this episode. Carrie has tripped on the runway because of her high heeled shoes and is laying face down across the runway when Heidi Klum steps over her and continues down the runaway. That is the point that Carrie has to decide what she's going to do, be fashion roadkill or get up and go on. The line goes, "when real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking." And that's just what she did. This episode is great because it show us all the flaws everyone can find in themselves and what they can concentrate on, or they can just not let anything slow them down but to keep on going. I think everyone has those days when they want to slink off but it is more important that we never give up...just get back up and keep on going.
This past week I had to share with some parents news that no parent ever wants to hear. As bad as it was, I could see their courage as a family would get them through. As I watched these shows this weekend I could only hope that they each had a soulmate they could lean on and the courage to get back up from falling down. I hope they do...I really do.
This weekend two of my favorite episodes were on. The first involves when Carrie turns 35 and she finds herself without someone special to share it with...except her other 3 soulmates...her friends Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha...even though they failed in their attempt to give her a fantastic birthday party. Carrie gets a flyer for joining a singles group and they get into a discussion as to whether they are defined by the men in their lives. This is where we discover how old Samantha is when they have to answer one of the questions on the singles survey - which box fits your age. I like this one because all of them finally realize that they don't have to be defined by being involved with anyone to be happy and that they have someone who will always be there to support them, care for them, and have their back. Carrie mentions how sad it made her to turn 35 and have no real man to take her to dinner, to treat her nice, etc. and I can relate to that. But, I too have some very special "soulmates" who have my back and are always there when I need them. Interestingly enough, their husbands often times fall into the "guys we just can have fun with" category as well. I think everyone needs to have these kind of "soulmates" in their lives to get through the days we face. Male or female, married or single, having these soulmates just makes the days easier to get through. I thank God every day that I have the soulmates I do.
The other one involves Carrie becoming a model for a fashion show as one of the New York "normal" people and Samantha deciding to have nude photos of her body (at age 44) taken so that when she is old and wrinkled she can remember what she looked like. I admire Samantha because she has that self confidence in herself that she is willing to do something that most women are scared of doing...putting herself out there for everyone to see. Carrie goes through this period of not knowing if she's good enough to do it to realizing that she's just a "real" person. In fact, one of my favorite lines in the entire series comes from this episode. Carrie has tripped on the runway because of her high heeled shoes and is laying face down across the runway when Heidi Klum steps over her and continues down the runaway. That is the point that Carrie has to decide what she's going to do, be fashion roadkill or get up and go on. The line goes, "when real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking." And that's just what she did. This episode is great because it show us all the flaws everyone can find in themselves and what they can concentrate on, or they can just not let anything slow them down but to keep on going. I think everyone has those days when they want to slink off but it is more important that we never give up...just get back up and keep on going.
This past week I had to share with some parents news that no parent ever wants to hear. As bad as it was, I could see their courage as a family would get them through. As I watched these shows this weekend I could only hope that they each had a soulmate they could lean on and the courage to get back up from falling down. I hope they do...I really do.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Clinic Visits and Knee Bends
I had my 6 month check up with the clinic this week. The one where you give them about 9 vials of blood and get slathered with that cold gel for the echocardiogram. The clinic seems to be shifted somewhere in the hospital every time I come in to visit now so I had to wind my way around to finally find it in Cardiology of Tulsa's offices. After going over what I have been doing (and they weren't really thrilled to hear that I'd taken on another job) and haven't been doing (enough exercise although they were happy I was doing some strength training) I spent some quality time with Dr. T.
The good doc had been battling a cold last week so he kindly wore his mask while visiting with all of us. Bloodwork results and echo results were great and I was released to come back in 3 months for more bloodwork and 6 months for my annual. Even my "regular" doc was happy with my glucose rating (which had dropped 1.2 points since May) but sadly had to inform me that he was retiring in December. His 61 year old wife was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and he and his son decided it would be best to spend whatever quality time they had left in Arkansas surrounded by family. I truly understand that. So, when I see him in November I'll be meeting my new primary care doc (someone in his office) and establishing a new relationship.
My strength training has been going pretty well if inconsistent. I've been trying to get at least 30 minutes in with Mike every Friday but sometimes he has church related events and sometimes I have school related events. Yesterday my knee begin to get that old twinge of bad ligaments so we stretched out my quads and hamstrings to see if that would help....and now I can hardly move! Crestor will cause your muscles to cramp up and we thought maybe that was part of it...maybe we overstretched a little?? All I know is that trying to sit down on the "john" has become a lot of moans and groans...and I don't see too much relief in sight.
On a good note, however, OSU beat A&M today!
Sometimes, you just have to end with a good note.
The good doc had been battling a cold last week so he kindly wore his mask while visiting with all of us. Bloodwork results and echo results were great and I was released to come back in 3 months for more bloodwork and 6 months for my annual. Even my "regular" doc was happy with my glucose rating (which had dropped 1.2 points since May) but sadly had to inform me that he was retiring in December. His 61 year old wife was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and he and his son decided it would be best to spend whatever quality time they had left in Arkansas surrounded by family. I truly understand that. So, when I see him in November I'll be meeting my new primary care doc (someone in his office) and establishing a new relationship.
My strength training has been going pretty well if inconsistent. I've been trying to get at least 30 minutes in with Mike every Friday but sometimes he has church related events and sometimes I have school related events. Yesterday my knee begin to get that old twinge of bad ligaments so we stretched out my quads and hamstrings to see if that would help....and now I can hardly move! Crestor will cause your muscles to cramp up and we thought maybe that was part of it...maybe we overstretched a little?? All I know is that trying to sit down on the "john" has become a lot of moans and groans...and I don't see too much relief in sight.
On a good note, however, OSU beat A&M today!
Sometimes, you just have to end with a good note.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
New Year, New Challenges
It's been a busy beginning to this school year. I finished my summer by spending a few days with my parents in Branson - time I will never regret taking. Reported to work the next Monday and soon my poor partner discovered her Mother had what is hopefully going to be manageable cancer-related issues. (Prayers for the Stone family will be appreciated!) Naturally she had to be away to take care of family issues but it also meant busy days for just one. Fortunately the wonderful staff at my school stepped in and helped in any way they could.
An opportunity then developed for me to try something new in addition to my "day job". My district is starting a virtual school as well as a night school. Students who are on long term suspension come to night school and do online learning as part of their suspension. Students who cannot function in a school setting come to go through the virtual learning in order to graduate. And soon we'll be adding students who are needing to make up credits in order to graduate. Students in middle school and high school are eligible to attend.
I was asked to consider being the counselor/backup administrator 3 nights a week for 4 hours each night. After much discussion with my own administrator at my site, I decided to go for it. This should prove that the transplant should not be an issue in my becoming an administrator because I'll be working pretty much the same hours as an administrator who supervises extra-curricular activities does. And, I believe that virtual learning is the wave of the future and getting the experience now will make me more marketable to other districts, which I could possibly be exploring in the near future.
In addition, I'll probably be doing drug education classes for suspended students and parents. Now, that should keep me busy for the year! I wouldn't have done it without the support of my administrator and my brother because I want to be sure my parents are covered should anything happen to them. And, with the extra pay, I hope to take a really nice vacay next summer! Now, I'm not sure how the transplant clinic is going to feel about it...although I believe they will say to do whatever I feel up to doing.
In addition, I'm continuing my upper body strength training every Friday to gain some upper body strength. While it would be nice to drop a few pounds, I'm most proud of the fact that I can tell my core strength has improved and I'm gaining strength in my arms, chest, and lower back. After being sliced open and sawed, it is nice to be able to lift a little more than 5-7 lbs for a change. My trainor, Mike, is very careful in how we proceed and great to work with.
So, my days are full, my nights are full, and football season approaches. Not a bad life right now!
An opportunity then developed for me to try something new in addition to my "day job". My district is starting a virtual school as well as a night school. Students who are on long term suspension come to night school and do online learning as part of their suspension. Students who cannot function in a school setting come to go through the virtual learning in order to graduate. And soon we'll be adding students who are needing to make up credits in order to graduate. Students in middle school and high school are eligible to attend.
I was asked to consider being the counselor/backup administrator 3 nights a week for 4 hours each night. After much discussion with my own administrator at my site, I decided to go for it. This should prove that the transplant should not be an issue in my becoming an administrator because I'll be working pretty much the same hours as an administrator who supervises extra-curricular activities does. And, I believe that virtual learning is the wave of the future and getting the experience now will make me more marketable to other districts, which I could possibly be exploring in the near future.
In addition, I'll probably be doing drug education classes for suspended students and parents. Now, that should keep me busy for the year! I wouldn't have done it without the support of my administrator and my brother because I want to be sure my parents are covered should anything happen to them. And, with the extra pay, I hope to take a really nice vacay next summer! Now, I'm not sure how the transplant clinic is going to feel about it...although I believe they will say to do whatever I feel up to doing.
In addition, I'm continuing my upper body strength training every Friday to gain some upper body strength. While it would be nice to drop a few pounds, I'm most proud of the fact that I can tell my core strength has improved and I'm gaining strength in my arms, chest, and lower back. After being sliced open and sawed, it is nice to be able to lift a little more than 5-7 lbs for a change. My trainor, Mike, is very careful in how we proceed and great to work with.
So, my days are full, my nights are full, and football season approaches. Not a bad life right now!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
How Do You Measure Success?
My summer vacation is rapidly winding down. And with record setting heat, I've been trying to find ways to be in cool places late in the afternoon. Yesterday, I went to see Larry Crowne at one of our local theaters. Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts star in a movie where Hanks' character (40's or above recently unemployed man without a college degree) gets laid off and decides to go back to his local college, where he takes a beginning speech class taught by Roberts' character (an alcoholic, unhappily married professor who is lost personally and professionally). His classmates were what I found interesting as they reminded me of students that I deal with everyday and I found myself laughing at what others might have found unusual places (but since there was only 3 of us in the theatre I guess that wasn't a big deal!) as I thought of these kids.
After it was over, I wondered.....how do you measure success? Is it measured by where you wind up at the end of your life? Is it measured by how much money you have? Is it measured by how many people you influence?
And exactly, what is success? Making your first million? Having your first child?
Recent disappointments have made me doubt my ideas of success and value. I could have made a lot more money if I had never returned to education, so that takes care of the value section. But, I can say I have made a difference in someone's life and I guess that will have to be my measure of success.
I had a former student who I shall refer to as "My favorite student" join my friend list on Facebook. He came into my life as a 7th grader with a wide smile and active body. He had issues reading. And he wanted to be the next great basketball player in the NBA. We had him tested and placed where he needed to be, but he'd have to leave my class...and he wasn't happy about it. I made an extra special effort to see him in the hallways and keep track of him on the court. As he progressed through school, I'd go to his basketball games and he always came by to say "hi", and sometimes give me a hug...still with the wide grin and the greeting of "How is my favorite teacher?". In fact, when he played football his coach sent me an email to let me know that I was chosen by him to tell the team about his favorite teacher and why I was chosen. I was honored...and I still have that email in my personal files.
Today he teaches and coaches and works with kids who have reading issues. To say that I am proud is an understatement. He still refers to me as his favorite teacher, and I proudly look at his Facebook page to see the photos he posts of what he is doing with his kids.
So, "My favorite student"....your favorite teacher wants to thank you for reminding her what success is, and that often it isn't in the administrator's chair. I may never get that seat, but I've got you to remind me of what I have done and can continue to do in the lives of others. And that is all I need.
After it was over, I wondered.....how do you measure success? Is it measured by where you wind up at the end of your life? Is it measured by how much money you have? Is it measured by how many people you influence?
And exactly, what is success? Making your first million? Having your first child?
Recent disappointments have made me doubt my ideas of success and value. I could have made a lot more money if I had never returned to education, so that takes care of the value section. But, I can say I have made a difference in someone's life and I guess that will have to be my measure of success.
I had a former student who I shall refer to as "My favorite student" join my friend list on Facebook. He came into my life as a 7th grader with a wide smile and active body. He had issues reading. And he wanted to be the next great basketball player in the NBA. We had him tested and placed where he needed to be, but he'd have to leave my class...and he wasn't happy about it. I made an extra special effort to see him in the hallways and keep track of him on the court. As he progressed through school, I'd go to his basketball games and he always came by to say "hi", and sometimes give me a hug...still with the wide grin and the greeting of "How is my favorite teacher?". In fact, when he played football his coach sent me an email to let me know that I was chosen by him to tell the team about his favorite teacher and why I was chosen. I was honored...and I still have that email in my personal files.
Today he teaches and coaches and works with kids who have reading issues. To say that I am proud is an understatement. He still refers to me as his favorite teacher, and I proudly look at his Facebook page to see the photos he posts of what he is doing with his kids.
So, "My favorite student"....your favorite teacher wants to thank you for reminding her what success is, and that often it isn't in the administrator's chair. I may never get that seat, but I've got you to remind me of what I have done and can continue to do in the lives of others. And that is all I need.
Friday, June 24, 2011
The Good and the Mad
Recent blood work fell into the "excellent work" category from the docs. Since joining the gym and working out again, everything seems to be falling back into the correct places. Next doc appointment will be in September.
Been trying to get a schedule created for school, even to the point of working about 7 days extra to do so. I'm the kind of personality that can't just have something hanging over my head for 2 months and the idea of having 560+ kids unscheduled until we came back just wasn't working for me. But the extra time worked out well and now I can finally begin to relax.
I also spent a couple of days at Haas Hall Academy in Fayetteville doing some consultation work for them. The Headmaster is my sister-in-law's brother and I review their procedures and handbooks and make recommendations for changes or additions. Haas Hall has been named one of the 5 best charter schools in the nation and now has @360 students in grades 8-12. It is a college prep curriculum that allows students to advance at a faster rate and better prepared for college.
The "Mad" part of these few weeks was the result of an interview I had for assistant principal positions in my district. After 12 years of trying, it seems that it isn't going to happen in this district. The recommendations from the committee were that I would make an excellent academic coordinator (which the district has eliminated this year) or college professor. I am puzzled as to why they don't feel that I wouldn't make a viable candidate for administration in the district, but there are always others who might feel differently. I really don't want to leave this area of the state due to the age of my parents, but it may come down to that if I want to pursue administration. It just doesn't seem like my district is going to work out. It is frustrating when some of your peers have gotten jobs and moved up in the district, and really frustrating when they call you for advice and yet they have the job but don't know the answers. But, I believe in my abilities and believe that there will be an opportunity for me somewhere. As Journey sings, I won't stop believing.
Been trying to get a schedule created for school, even to the point of working about 7 days extra to do so. I'm the kind of personality that can't just have something hanging over my head for 2 months and the idea of having 560+ kids unscheduled until we came back just wasn't working for me. But the extra time worked out well and now I can finally begin to relax.
I also spent a couple of days at Haas Hall Academy in Fayetteville doing some consultation work for them. The Headmaster is my sister-in-law's brother and I review their procedures and handbooks and make recommendations for changes or additions. Haas Hall has been named one of the 5 best charter schools in the nation and now has @360 students in grades 8-12. It is a college prep curriculum that allows students to advance at a faster rate and better prepared for college.
The "Mad" part of these few weeks was the result of an interview I had for assistant principal positions in my district. After 12 years of trying, it seems that it isn't going to happen in this district. The recommendations from the committee were that I would make an excellent academic coordinator (which the district has eliminated this year) or college professor. I am puzzled as to why they don't feel that I wouldn't make a viable candidate for administration in the district, but there are always others who might feel differently. I really don't want to leave this area of the state due to the age of my parents, but it may come down to that if I want to pursue administration. It just doesn't seem like my district is going to work out. It is frustrating when some of your peers have gotten jobs and moved up in the district, and really frustrating when they call you for advice and yet they have the job but don't know the answers. But, I believe in my abilities and believe that there will be an opportunity for me somewhere. As Journey sings, I won't stop believing.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Let the training begin!
On my last visit to the doctor, I was asked how much exercising I was doing. Well, since it occurred smack in the middle of state testing...not much! It was "strongly" suggested that I get back into working out and to work more on strength training than cardio. Since I have no experience with weights, I decided that I needed to find someone who did. So, off to a local gym where I signed up not only to work out but also for personal training. I may not be able to afford to eat, but I guess I will be in better shape.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Perspectives
Eight days ago a community of 50,000 were doing what they normally do on a Sunday afternoon. For some, it was a special day because they were participating in or watching a high school graduation where kids were starting their own futures. For others, they were were heading to church to worship. Some were visiting friends in the hospital, others were working. All would have never believed how their world would change around 5:30 on that Sunday.
The EF5 tornado that ripped through Joplin, Missouri, was a cause of concern for my family and I. We have immediate and extended family members and friends who live in Webb City and within a couple of blocks of St. John's Hospital. Amazingly enough, through social media we were able to discover that they were ok. But so many were not. Graduates ripped out of their vehicles as they were trying to get home. Elderly residents who were bedridden and could not get to a safe location. Shoppers out to pick up items at Home Depot and Wal-Mart. Customers eating pizza.
Those who are left are trying to find anything, any item, that would help them hang on to their past. And their looking through piles of debris and communities miles away since the wind carried things up to 70 miles away.
I sat in my home last week and looked around, grateful for what I had and wondering what I would grab if I were put in their place. Came close to it one night as we were "ripe for action" as our local weathermen called it. Family pictures hang on my wall. My Grandmother's tatting in a shadow box. My camera's. My computers that have all my family pictures scanned on their hard drives. My medicines that keep me alive.
I'm blessed and I often forget that. I'm sad that it took this tragedy to remind me, but it did. I've been given a second chance, and I need to take advantage of that. I've been re-evaluating some things in my life and hopefully some things will come forward to fruitation. But if not, then all I need to do is remember Joplin, and how lucky I am to have what I have.
The EF5 tornado that ripped through Joplin, Missouri, was a cause of concern for my family and I. We have immediate and extended family members and friends who live in Webb City and within a couple of blocks of St. John's Hospital. Amazingly enough, through social media we were able to discover that they were ok. But so many were not. Graduates ripped out of their vehicles as they were trying to get home. Elderly residents who were bedridden and could not get to a safe location. Shoppers out to pick up items at Home Depot and Wal-Mart. Customers eating pizza.
Those who are left are trying to find anything, any item, that would help them hang on to their past. And their looking through piles of debris and communities miles away since the wind carried things up to 70 miles away.
I sat in my home last week and looked around, grateful for what I had and wondering what I would grab if I were put in their place. Came close to it one night as we were "ripe for action" as our local weathermen called it. Family pictures hang on my wall. My Grandmother's tatting in a shadow box. My camera's. My computers that have all my family pictures scanned on their hard drives. My medicines that keep me alive.
I'm blessed and I often forget that. I'm sad that it took this tragedy to remind me, but it did. I've been given a second chance, and I need to take advantage of that. I've been re-evaluating some things in my life and hopefully some things will come forward to fruitation. But if not, then all I need to do is remember Joplin, and how lucky I am to have what I have.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
And Yet He Still Smiles
The folks and I went to a fundraiser for Chuck yesterday. For those of you that don't remember, Chuck is the guy who called out of the blue to raise my spirits prior to the transplant and stayed with my family while I underwent the transplant. He also is one of the main individuals in this area who does all he can to promote organ donation and often organizes all of our transplant events.
Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma this year and has had many complications from it. It is not unusual for tranplant patients to get this, in fact, it is almost a guarantee at some point or another. He went septic shortly after starting chemo and was touch and go there for a while, but recently was allowed to leave the hospital and seems to be holding his own. However, his medical expenses (which are high as a transplant patient anyway) have been a heavy burden for his family and a group of people organized "ChuckFest" where a silent auction, music, food, and general fun was held to help gather money for the family and expenses.
There was Chuck....sitting in a wheelchair...no hair...about 60 pounds thinner...still smiling. He was happy to see me and my folks when we walked up to him. He said his heart was in great shape but the rest of him took a little vacation for a while, but he fights on. As LeAnne Taylor, a local media celebrity who is a friend of Chuck's put it, God isn't done with him yet. In fact, God is still doing great things in his life. He met a nurse at the hospital who turned out to be the one who talked his donor family into doing organ donation, which turned out to be the heart Chuck got. They've gotten to be great friends through all this.
I wish the small amount I was able to donate to Chuck could be 100X the amount it was, because Chuck was so much help to us. Even as he continues to battle, he also continues to laugh and smile about the challenges he's faced and is still facing. His family continues to support him, most especially his wife.
Yet, I also can't help but wonder if I'll have to face something similar. Our family history with cancer is not that great and transplant patients with no immune system...well, let's just say it is quite the fight. I've recently been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my time here. I used to think I wanted to be an administrator but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to do discipline all day long...I get enough of dealing with that as a counselor as it is. I enjoy working with curriculum and helping people with new technology and teaching methods. I even get into evaluating test results! But asking me to deal with misbehaving kids all day long...as much as I want to get into administration I just don't think that is for me. And, knowing that the possibility that I may have to deal with cancer and all those ramification any time in the future...well, it just doesn't seem like it is in the cards for me.
Like Chuck, I hope God isn't done with me yet. I just wish He'd provide a little guidance into what direction I should start looking for my future. I've always loved the verse in Jeremiah..."I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil..." but there are times when I wish He'd clue me in a little bit. I should just take a clue from Chuck....and trust that God knows best. And try to keep smiling.
Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma this year and has had many complications from it. It is not unusual for tranplant patients to get this, in fact, it is almost a guarantee at some point or another. He went septic shortly after starting chemo and was touch and go there for a while, but recently was allowed to leave the hospital and seems to be holding his own. However, his medical expenses (which are high as a transplant patient anyway) have been a heavy burden for his family and a group of people organized "ChuckFest" where a silent auction, music, food, and general fun was held to help gather money for the family and expenses.
There was Chuck....sitting in a wheelchair...no hair...about 60 pounds thinner...still smiling. He was happy to see me and my folks when we walked up to him. He said his heart was in great shape but the rest of him took a little vacation for a while, but he fights on. As LeAnne Taylor, a local media celebrity who is a friend of Chuck's put it, God isn't done with him yet. In fact, God is still doing great things in his life. He met a nurse at the hospital who turned out to be the one who talked his donor family into doing organ donation, which turned out to be the heart Chuck got. They've gotten to be great friends through all this.
I wish the small amount I was able to donate to Chuck could be 100X the amount it was, because Chuck was so much help to us. Even as he continues to battle, he also continues to laugh and smile about the challenges he's faced and is still facing. His family continues to support him, most especially his wife.
Yet, I also can't help but wonder if I'll have to face something similar. Our family history with cancer is not that great and transplant patients with no immune system...well, let's just say it is quite the fight. I've recently been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my time here. I used to think I wanted to be an administrator but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to do discipline all day long...I get enough of dealing with that as a counselor as it is. I enjoy working with curriculum and helping people with new technology and teaching methods. I even get into evaluating test results! But asking me to deal with misbehaving kids all day long...as much as I want to get into administration I just don't think that is for me. And, knowing that the possibility that I may have to deal with cancer and all those ramification any time in the future...well, it just doesn't seem like it is in the cards for me.
Like Chuck, I hope God isn't done with me yet. I just wish He'd provide a little guidance into what direction I should start looking for my future. I've always loved the verse in Jeremiah..."I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil..." but there are times when I wish He'd clue me in a little bit. I should just take a clue from Chuck....and trust that God knows best. And try to keep smiling.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
One Step at a Time
We lost another transplant survivor this week, and Chuck continues to have issues and is back in ICU. Usually around this time of the year, the Kidney, Heart, and Lung transplant patients have a celebrity softball game against local TV/radio personalities and either the Fire or Police in the Tulsa area. One of the main organizers of this is Chuck, however, since he is in ICU he can't. The other was Dick Thomason, who passed away last fall.
I have been having feelings of inadequacy lately in a variety of areas of my life. I have wanted to be more involved with transplant survivors for quite a while, but have not been able to find that niche that would fit me and my situation. School issues, personal issues, the list goes on and on. It doesn't help that this is a very stressful period of time at school with state testing starting and all the state requirements that must be met or your site suffers serious penalites.
I wish I had the energy to undertake the role of helping to organize the softball game. Truth is, I've never been more mentally or physically tired since right before the transplant. In addition, my parents are having their own physical issues that may soon require decisions that they won't want to make, and that I really wish they didn't have to. Or, I'm going to have to get closer to them. I understand how they feel about those decisions...I had the same feelings when I was considering the transplant and the aftermath.
Don't do the transplant = die. Do the transplant = face a life of multiple medicines that do a variety of things to your body, constant tests at the hospital, costs involved with medications and surgeries, and the list goes on and on. Sell the home you've lived in for 30 years and move closer to your son and daughter....stay in the house and hope your daughter can find a job nearby to help when those instances of falling, rapidly dropping sugar, and small strokes occur.
My parents have done everything they could possibly do for me....the least I can do is the same for them. It is something that all of we children will be facing someday, and all of us who have children will join them in facing as we get older.
I just hope I can be around long enough, and have the energy and health, to be as helpful as I can be. And I hope I can find some way to help others out as well. At times when the mental and physical level is low, I just need to remember how fortunate I am....and keep taking one step at a time.
I have been having feelings of inadequacy lately in a variety of areas of my life. I have wanted to be more involved with transplant survivors for quite a while, but have not been able to find that niche that would fit me and my situation. School issues, personal issues, the list goes on and on. It doesn't help that this is a very stressful period of time at school with state testing starting and all the state requirements that must be met or your site suffers serious penalites.
I wish I had the energy to undertake the role of helping to organize the softball game. Truth is, I've never been more mentally or physically tired since right before the transplant. In addition, my parents are having their own physical issues that may soon require decisions that they won't want to make, and that I really wish they didn't have to. Or, I'm going to have to get closer to them. I understand how they feel about those decisions...I had the same feelings when I was considering the transplant and the aftermath.
Don't do the transplant = die. Do the transplant = face a life of multiple medicines that do a variety of things to your body, constant tests at the hospital, costs involved with medications and surgeries, and the list goes on and on. Sell the home you've lived in for 30 years and move closer to your son and daughter....stay in the house and hope your daughter can find a job nearby to help when those instances of falling, rapidly dropping sugar, and small strokes occur.
My parents have done everything they could possibly do for me....the least I can do is the same for them. It is something that all of we children will be facing someday, and all of us who have children will join them in facing as we get older.
I just hope I can be around long enough, and have the energy and health, to be as helpful as I can be. And I hope I can find some way to help others out as well. At times when the mental and physical level is low, I just need to remember how fortunate I am....and keep taking one step at a time.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Pray for Chuck
If you've been reading my blog you might remember the guy who called out of the blue prior to my transplant and helped me understand what I was facing, then followed up by coming to the hospital and staying with my friends and family as the transplant happened. Chuck is a very positive man, full of faith and energized to do all he can to help transplant families.
I had not see Chuck at clinic in about a year, and only saw him for a few minutes at Dick Thomason's funeral in the fall. At that time I thought he looked a little thinner and tired, but funerals of transplant patients is often hard on we transplant people so I didn't think much of it.
About two weeks ago I received an email from the transplant support group that informed us that Chuck was in ICU with a bacterial infection from his chemo for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. He is 16 years out this month. See, if you survive the first 5-7 years without major complications from the transplant the next hurdle you will face will be the side effects of the medications we have to take to keep from rejecting.
It is not unusual for transplant patients to have another organ fail (usually liver or kidney if you've had a heart transplant) or develop cancer related issues. Thus why we continue to go in and have blood work done every couple of months. Not that they can detect cancer that way, but they can monitor liver and kidney failure.
In my family, we have a big history of cancer. Half of my mother's siblings have died from a very aggressive cancer....and two of her cousins as well. On my father's side, he just lost a sister who battled leukemia for many years as well as losing an eye to cancer. My father has survived prostrate cancer and my brother has survived the same non-Hodgkin's cancer that Chuck is dealing with. So, I know my odds are not good in this area. The medication has already made me a slight diabetic so I can tell the effects are starting.
But, I've decided to just take the attitude of living each day the best I can. I can't control if I develop cancer and there really isn't much I can do about it except get all the yearly tests that I have to do. I could be in constant worry and run scared, or I can just go out and enjoy the extra time that I have been granted.
I vote to enjoy the extra time. I think Chuck would agree. He is the father of two boys, married to a wonderful lady, a dedicated Christian, and a good friend. Please remember him in your prayers.....I do.
I had not see Chuck at clinic in about a year, and only saw him for a few minutes at Dick Thomason's funeral in the fall. At that time I thought he looked a little thinner and tired, but funerals of transplant patients is often hard on we transplant people so I didn't think much of it.
About two weeks ago I received an email from the transplant support group that informed us that Chuck was in ICU with a bacterial infection from his chemo for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. He is 16 years out this month. See, if you survive the first 5-7 years without major complications from the transplant the next hurdle you will face will be the side effects of the medications we have to take to keep from rejecting.
It is not unusual for transplant patients to have another organ fail (usually liver or kidney if you've had a heart transplant) or develop cancer related issues. Thus why we continue to go in and have blood work done every couple of months. Not that they can detect cancer that way, but they can monitor liver and kidney failure.
In my family, we have a big history of cancer. Half of my mother's siblings have died from a very aggressive cancer....and two of her cousins as well. On my father's side, he just lost a sister who battled leukemia for many years as well as losing an eye to cancer. My father has survived prostrate cancer and my brother has survived the same non-Hodgkin's cancer that Chuck is dealing with. So, I know my odds are not good in this area. The medication has already made me a slight diabetic so I can tell the effects are starting.
But, I've decided to just take the attitude of living each day the best I can. I can't control if I develop cancer and there really isn't much I can do about it except get all the yearly tests that I have to do. I could be in constant worry and run scared, or I can just go out and enjoy the extra time that I have been granted.
I vote to enjoy the extra time. I think Chuck would agree. He is the father of two boys, married to a wonderful lady, a dedicated Christian, and a good friend. Please remember him in your prayers.....I do.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Heart Cath #10
Try as I might to get out of it, Dr.E insisted that we do a heart cath to check for coronary artery disease (CAD) and check the measurements of the valves, chambers, and look over the "connections" with all the plumbing from the transplant. So, bright and early yesterday off the folks and I went to the "Pink Palace" where I seem to spend a great deal of my vacation time to "get 'er done"!
I have very small veins and arteries so putting in an IV is a great adventure. Luckily enough, they only had to stick me twice to find one that would work....much better than the black and blue forearms that usually appear on both arms. They hydrated me with an IV then took me down to the cath lab. Saw a couple of familiar faces (you can't help it when you've visited so often) and caught up with them. Luckily, Dr. E found no major issues and used a "plug" on the femoral artery so that I didn't have to lay flat for 4-6 hours to make sure it sealed off. I arrived at 6:30 am and left at 12:30 am. I spent most of the day sleeping and today am pretty sore and stiff. I've just showered and removed the covering patch over the incision area and will be homebound for another 24 hours (no driving for 48 hours and no lifting over 10 lbs for a week) so it looks like it will be NASCAR and basketball for the day...with a few naps thrown in!
With the exception of the high triglycerides, all is going well. Doc asked to cut down on my stress (yeah, right...school counseling sure lets that happen...especially at this time of the year!) and to try to work out a bit more. But, after looking around the clinic room and hearing the nurse tell me that I am taking very good care of my heart, I can't help but think that I'm doing pretty well. The average heart transplant patient lives @ 10-12 years and I'm halfway through that already. Here's to hoping that I can make it to 20!
I have very small veins and arteries so putting in an IV is a great adventure. Luckily enough, they only had to stick me twice to find one that would work....much better than the black and blue forearms that usually appear on both arms. They hydrated me with an IV then took me down to the cath lab. Saw a couple of familiar faces (you can't help it when you've visited so often) and caught up with them. Luckily, Dr. E found no major issues and used a "plug" on the femoral artery so that I didn't have to lay flat for 4-6 hours to make sure it sealed off. I arrived at 6:30 am and left at 12:30 am. I spent most of the day sleeping and today am pretty sore and stiff. I've just showered and removed the covering patch over the incision area and will be homebound for another 24 hours (no driving for 48 hours and no lifting over 10 lbs for a week) so it looks like it will be NASCAR and basketball for the day...with a few naps thrown in!
With the exception of the high triglycerides, all is going well. Doc asked to cut down on my stress (yeah, right...school counseling sure lets that happen...especially at this time of the year!) and to try to work out a bit more. But, after looking around the clinic room and hearing the nurse tell me that I am taking very good care of my heart, I can't help but think that I'm doing pretty well. The average heart transplant patient lives @ 10-12 years and I'm halfway through that already. Here's to hoping that I can make it to 20!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
6 Year Eval
I finally had a chance to get to clinic today. My original appointment was the day of Oklahoma's "Snow-maggedon of '11" so they asked to move me back to my Spring Break since I appeared to be doing well. All my bloodwork came back in great shape except for triglycerides which were high so I have to watch my carbs. I got scolded for not working out as much as I should but for the most part, Doc E. was very pleased with how I've progressed.
I had hoped to avoid having the heart cath but alas, that is scheduled for Friday. This will be my 9th one since my initial heart problem diagnosis with each one getting a little more difficult to get over. The groin can only take so many punctures before it gets sore!
But as I sat in clinic today and watched some of my fellow heart transplant patients stream in, I felt very lucky. Some of the patients had been in and out of the hospital in recent weeks, some were having to go back and have biopsy tests again, some were not doing well at all. To some degree I felt very guilty, but I also realize how quickly things can change and how fast I could be in their place.
Life is fickle. I've watched the newscasts of the earthquake and tsumani in Japan and have seen video of people who were just living their normal day be washed away by the waters as they tried to move to higher ground. When they woke up that morning they had no idea it would be their last on this Earth. I relate this to organ donors who often are victims of car or shooting accidents. They didn't know when they awoke one morning that their day might end with their family making the decision to donate their organs. It just goes to show that all of us need to live our lives the best we can, doing all we can to make the world better for others. One morning, it might be our last day. How would we be remembered?
I had hoped to avoid having the heart cath but alas, that is scheduled for Friday. This will be my 9th one since my initial heart problem diagnosis with each one getting a little more difficult to get over. The groin can only take so many punctures before it gets sore!
But as I sat in clinic today and watched some of my fellow heart transplant patients stream in, I felt very lucky. Some of the patients had been in and out of the hospital in recent weeks, some were having to go back and have biopsy tests again, some were not doing well at all. To some degree I felt very guilty, but I also realize how quickly things can change and how fast I could be in their place.
Life is fickle. I've watched the newscasts of the earthquake and tsumani in Japan and have seen video of people who were just living their normal day be washed away by the waters as they tried to move to higher ground. When they woke up that morning they had no idea it would be their last on this Earth. I relate this to organ donors who often are victims of car or shooting accidents. They didn't know when they awoke one morning that their day might end with their family making the decision to donate their organs. It just goes to show that all of us need to live our lives the best we can, doing all we can to make the world better for others. One morning, it might be our last day. How would we be remembered?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Hollywood's Version
It is amazing how one never seems to take notice of movie/television stories until they seem to relate to your life. The first movie about heart transplants I remember seeing was "Return to Me" where the young girl who got the heart falls in love with her donor's husband. I remember thinking at the time how amazing the whole process was and wondering how I would feel in the same situation.
Then, as I was dealing with the possibility of a heart transplant, Denny was on "Grey's Anatomy". At that time I could see where the Hollywood version had its inaccurate moments, although they did an excellent job of describing the emotions of the subject. "Grey's" has had several transplant episodes and while the medical facts are often off, the emotional descriptions have been right on and have often been cause for great discussions among family and friends. For it is the emotional side of transplants that vary from each patient. Some are grateful for the second chance and try to do better. Some continue on the way they had been living and find further need for medical aid. Others can't handle the amount of medications and side effects they cause and stop taking them, which becomes their death sentence. All transplant patients face the wicked side effects of the medication and the challenges they represent.
Today, I caught the last half of an old movie called "Repo Man" about people who had been given artificial organs but had failed to pay for them, and a group of men who were assigned to track them down and remove the organs for use to other people. While the concept of artificial organs is great, I do hope we never get to the point of "selling" human organs. I know I am very fortunate to have been given the gift of a heart and I also know that there are many in this world for whom time runs out before they are given the same. But to have a "black market" where organs are sold to the highest bidder is not the way to go.
I hope that the government, in their desire to create a new health system, keeps all this in mind in regards to transplants. Life is a gift and as should be passed on as such. If you haven't signed up to be a donor and then discussed it with your family, please consider doing so. If you have, thank you.
Then, as I was dealing with the possibility of a heart transplant, Denny was on "Grey's Anatomy". At that time I could see where the Hollywood version had its inaccurate moments, although they did an excellent job of describing the emotions of the subject. "Grey's" has had several transplant episodes and while the medical facts are often off, the emotional descriptions have been right on and have often been cause for great discussions among family and friends. For it is the emotional side of transplants that vary from each patient. Some are grateful for the second chance and try to do better. Some continue on the way they had been living and find further need for medical aid. Others can't handle the amount of medications and side effects they cause and stop taking them, which becomes their death sentence. All transplant patients face the wicked side effects of the medication and the challenges they represent.
Today, I caught the last half of an old movie called "Repo Man" about people who had been given artificial organs but had failed to pay for them, and a group of men who were assigned to track them down and remove the organs for use to other people. While the concept of artificial organs is great, I do hope we never get to the point of "selling" human organs. I know I am very fortunate to have been given the gift of a heart and I also know that there are many in this world for whom time runs out before they are given the same. But to have a "black market" where organs are sold to the highest bidder is not the way to go.
I hope that the government, in their desire to create a new health system, keeps all this in mind in regards to transplants. Life is a gift and as should be passed on as such. If you haven't signed up to be a donor and then discussed it with your family, please consider doing so. If you have, thank you.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Six years and counting
Yesterday was my six year anniversary of my heart transplant. While I was celebrating my second chance of life, I couldn't help but think about the family of my donor, Tiffani, and how this was the six year anniversary of her death. In a couple of weeks I'll be thinking of a former student of mine, Allen, who became a donor after suffering a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 13. His parents donated his organs after he came home and made remarks about how neat it was that I could be saved because of someone one else's generosity.
For the most part, I've been feeling great. Recently, I've been in schools doing enrollment and have exposed myself to more germs than I normally do and I've felt my body fighting those germs every day. This is a busy time of year for school counselors and it is easy to wear down when you are healthy, nevertheless when you have a compromised immune system.
Everyday when I look at the 36+ pills that I often have to take, I have to remember that they are part of the process that is keeping me alive. It is not always fun to swallow all of those, and because of the cost of the medication I will probably never own a home, but I'm alive. For that, I am grateful.
In the last six years I have celebrated my parents' 50 year wedding anniversary, spent quality time with my brother and sister-in-law, learned to value my friends in ways that others probably never will, and tried to help as many kids as I can. Hopefully, the good Lord will let me hang around a few more years to see my "adopted" children graduate from school and head out on their own and maybe be able to visit some places I've never been before.
Whatever time I may have, I hope to always remember the gift that I was given and use it wisely. I believe that to be the best way to honor a life that was taken too soon.
For the most part, I've been feeling great. Recently, I've been in schools doing enrollment and have exposed myself to more germs than I normally do and I've felt my body fighting those germs every day. This is a busy time of year for school counselors and it is easy to wear down when you are healthy, nevertheless when you have a compromised immune system.
Everyday when I look at the 36+ pills that I often have to take, I have to remember that they are part of the process that is keeping me alive. It is not always fun to swallow all of those, and because of the cost of the medication I will probably never own a home, but I'm alive. For that, I am grateful.
In the last six years I have celebrated my parents' 50 year wedding anniversary, spent quality time with my brother and sister-in-law, learned to value my friends in ways that others probably never will, and tried to help as many kids as I can. Hopefully, the good Lord will let me hang around a few more years to see my "adopted" children graduate from school and head out on their own and maybe be able to visit some places I've never been before.
Whatever time I may have, I hope to always remember the gift that I was given and use it wisely. I believe that to be the best way to honor a life that was taken too soon.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Blizzard of '11 and other thoughts
Yesterday we recieved 15" of snow with 40 mph gusts in our little town. Needless to say, the world has come crashing to a stop as we just do not have the equipment to cope in our state. So, I've been spending a great deal of time playing on the computer, reading books, watching DVD's, and generally trying not to go nuts as I wait to see if there will be any thawing in the next week or so.
Some nice person did come last night and scraped my drive, at least as much as they could. Since all my wordly possessions are in this duplex, including my car in the garage, it was nice to know that if the roof came crashing down I would not lose everything because I could possibly escape. Now, the docs have always told me to not get out when the air gets below 20 degress or so because it causes our hearts would have to work so hard to keep our bodies warm. But, I've never obeyed that command.
So, today I got out and shoveled out a path to my front door and knocked down what the mystery scrapper couldn't get. I do have to admit, near zero temps and 15" of snow with drifts up to 4 feet were a little challenging. I had plans to do some more but after about 45 minutes, I decided enough was enough.
So, I came in and started scouring the Internet. I ran across a blog about heart conditions that talked about cell memory. I've had a few people ask me if I developed any memories, cravings, or other odd sensations after having the transplant. I can't say that I have. Maybe that is because my donor and I had similar interests in the first place....we both played softball, we both loved music (although she played in a band and I have not), we both were close to our families. Her grandmother (who raised her after her parents divorced) has called my parents and talked to them...as recently as two weeks ago...but I have not been able to get the courage to meet them. Part of it is a feeling that they might want more of a relationship than I'm willing to give. I am most appreciative of the gift they have given me, but I cannot replace their granddaughter, and it wouldn't be fair to her memory to attempt to do so.
The blog also talked about depression in transplant patients, even to the point of committing suicide. I will admit there are times that one gets tired of all the pills, the side effects, the tests and hospital visits, and other things. And there have been some dark days...but doesn't everyone have dark days every now and then? My biggest problem has been when I didn't meet goals that I had set for myself after the transplant...new job, own a home, a significiant other, etc. but again, doesn't that happen to everyone.
I realize that there are only so many years that I have with this new heart...if I'm lucky at least 20. (And I'm getting ready for my 6th year anniversary this month.) I can't see wasting any of the extra time I've been given and have tried to use these "extra years" to help others. In some cases I have succeeded, in some I have not. But for those I've failed I'm hoping that at some point they will remember some small tidbit that they will find helpful later in life, at a time that I may never know about.
I think that is the lasting legacy I can give to Tiffani's memory. And even though I never met her, I think she would approve. If that is cell memory, then so be it.
Some nice person did come last night and scraped my drive, at least as much as they could. Since all my wordly possessions are in this duplex, including my car in the garage, it was nice to know that if the roof came crashing down I would not lose everything because I could possibly escape. Now, the docs have always told me to not get out when the air gets below 20 degress or so because it causes our hearts would have to work so hard to keep our bodies warm. But, I've never obeyed that command.
So, today I got out and shoveled out a path to my front door and knocked down what the mystery scrapper couldn't get. I do have to admit, near zero temps and 15" of snow with drifts up to 4 feet were a little challenging. I had plans to do some more but after about 45 minutes, I decided enough was enough.
So, I came in and started scouring the Internet. I ran across a blog about heart conditions that talked about cell memory. I've had a few people ask me if I developed any memories, cravings, or other odd sensations after having the transplant. I can't say that I have. Maybe that is because my donor and I had similar interests in the first place....we both played softball, we both loved music (although she played in a band and I have not), we both were close to our families. Her grandmother (who raised her after her parents divorced) has called my parents and talked to them...as recently as two weeks ago...but I have not been able to get the courage to meet them. Part of it is a feeling that they might want more of a relationship than I'm willing to give. I am most appreciative of the gift they have given me, but I cannot replace their granddaughter, and it wouldn't be fair to her memory to attempt to do so.
The blog also talked about depression in transplant patients, even to the point of committing suicide. I will admit there are times that one gets tired of all the pills, the side effects, the tests and hospital visits, and other things. And there have been some dark days...but doesn't everyone have dark days every now and then? My biggest problem has been when I didn't meet goals that I had set for myself after the transplant...new job, own a home, a significiant other, etc. but again, doesn't that happen to everyone.
I realize that there are only so many years that I have with this new heart...if I'm lucky at least 20. (And I'm getting ready for my 6th year anniversary this month.) I can't see wasting any of the extra time I've been given and have tried to use these "extra years" to help others. In some cases I have succeeded, in some I have not. But for those I've failed I'm hoping that at some point they will remember some small tidbit that they will find helpful later in life, at a time that I may never know about.
I think that is the lasting legacy I can give to Tiffani's memory. And even though I never met her, I think she would approve. If that is cell memory, then so be it.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Flu time!
Seems the flu has attacked my school this week. Numerous staff members have been down for 5 or more days, students are checking out more and more everyday. Not a happy sight for someone who doesn't have an immune system!
On top of that, we're attempting (if we don't get the predicted 4" + of snow tonight) to enroll our 8th graders to 9th grade...an all day and evening event that is supposed to occur tomorrow. This will mean that not only will I have to deal with the possibility of picking up something from the kids, but also from the general public. Oh joy.
I try to avoid being in crowds after the first of the year as much as I can. I used to love to go to basketball games...now, I don't. I don't attend church as often as I used to for fear of picking up some type of bug. I watch attending concerts during this time of the year for the same thing.
Now, I could probably do all of this if I'd just give in and wear that stupid, hot, non-flattering surgical mask that the Transplant clinic always insists that I wear. But they don't have to take in the stares when you go into a Quik Trip for a hot cocoa, or try to find something that goes with the baby blue or yellow thing on your face.
Oh well....college basketball and NASCAR start up before long....if I can survive the school I can hang out at home on the weekends. And, if I catch it....let's just hope I don't have to visit my pink palace for an extended stay!
On top of that, we're attempting (if we don't get the predicted 4" + of snow tonight) to enroll our 8th graders to 9th grade...an all day and evening event that is supposed to occur tomorrow. This will mean that not only will I have to deal with the possibility of picking up something from the kids, but also from the general public. Oh joy.
I try to avoid being in crowds after the first of the year as much as I can. I used to love to go to basketball games...now, I don't. I don't attend church as often as I used to for fear of picking up some type of bug. I watch attending concerts during this time of the year for the same thing.
Now, I could probably do all of this if I'd just give in and wear that stupid, hot, non-flattering surgical mask that the Transplant clinic always insists that I wear. But they don't have to take in the stares when you go into a Quik Trip for a hot cocoa, or try to find something that goes with the baby blue or yellow thing on your face.
Oh well....college basketball and NASCAR start up before long....if I can survive the school I can hang out at home on the weekends. And, if I catch it....let's just hope I don't have to visit my pink palace for an extended stay!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Good Out of Bad
What a tragedy in Arizona this week...what a waste of human life. A obviously mentally unstable young man took a semi-automatic gun and started firing at a Safeway store where the local Congresswoman was holding a "Congress on the Corner" event. He killed 7 innocent people who were just there to see their goverment representative and express what they'd like to see her attempt to do for them at the national level.
I won't even begin to get into the rheotric being passed around regarding whether the tone of our current political arena is what set this individual off. I was raised in a family where if you couldn't say anything good about another you were better off keeping your mouth shut. But, if there were some truth to that, then I would wish that all who were responsible would think of the 9 year old victim before they opened their mouth. Words do hurt...I see it everyday at school. If you think they don't then your living in the world this individual apparently did.
There are two items I can address in this situation, however. First, we aren't addressing mental health issues in this country correctly or fast enough. When parents take their children for in-patient services, their insurance tells them how long they can stay, not whether the child is "better" or able to cope. I have students come back to my school that have no business being there, but because we are a public school we have to continue to serve them. Sometimes they are served through a home-based situation, sometimes they are back on campus. I often think of a conversation Spock and Captain Kirk have in one of the Star Trek movies...."the good of the many are greater than the good of the one". Sometimes the rights of an individual should not be more important than the safety of the many. I am in no way excusing the acts of this individual, but I do believe and see everyday others that could do the same act that are not getting the help they need.
We also have a stigma about people who have mental health issues...truth be told, we all have some mental issue but it manifest itself worse in some individuals. We need to start thinking of helping people, not labeling them. In most cases, with appropriate counseling and sometimes medication, people can live and survive in society with no major issues.
Secondly, today I learned that the 9 year old victim was an organ donor...now, I'm sure she didn't make this decision on her own but her family probably did. Out of their grief they seeked something good. I'm positive that the person/people that are now gaining another chance to live, to see, to function are grateful for their gift. I'm also sure that they will be saddened to hear of how it occurred. Out of something bad, something good happened to these people.
God bless the parents and family of this child. I certainly hope that in their hours of sadness and darkness they take comfort in knowing that others are living through their daughter.
This may be my most unpopular post I ever put on this blog, but I felt I needed to say something. My career choice and my experience as one who has been given the gift of life would not allow me to not say something. You don't have to agree....but you should be thinking about all the points made. The world cannot afford for you not to.
I won't even begin to get into the rheotric being passed around regarding whether the tone of our current political arena is what set this individual off. I was raised in a family where if you couldn't say anything good about another you were better off keeping your mouth shut. But, if there were some truth to that, then I would wish that all who were responsible would think of the 9 year old victim before they opened their mouth. Words do hurt...I see it everyday at school. If you think they don't then your living in the world this individual apparently did.
There are two items I can address in this situation, however. First, we aren't addressing mental health issues in this country correctly or fast enough. When parents take their children for in-patient services, their insurance tells them how long they can stay, not whether the child is "better" or able to cope. I have students come back to my school that have no business being there, but because we are a public school we have to continue to serve them. Sometimes they are served through a home-based situation, sometimes they are back on campus. I often think of a conversation Spock and Captain Kirk have in one of the Star Trek movies...."the good of the many are greater than the good of the one". Sometimes the rights of an individual should not be more important than the safety of the many. I am in no way excusing the acts of this individual, but I do believe and see everyday others that could do the same act that are not getting the help they need.
We also have a stigma about people who have mental health issues...truth be told, we all have some mental issue but it manifest itself worse in some individuals. We need to start thinking of helping people, not labeling them. In most cases, with appropriate counseling and sometimes medication, people can live and survive in society with no major issues.
Secondly, today I learned that the 9 year old victim was an organ donor...now, I'm sure she didn't make this decision on her own but her family probably did. Out of their grief they seeked something good. I'm positive that the person/people that are now gaining another chance to live, to see, to function are grateful for their gift. I'm also sure that they will be saddened to hear of how it occurred. Out of something bad, something good happened to these people.
God bless the parents and family of this child. I certainly hope that in their hours of sadness and darkness they take comfort in knowing that others are living through their daughter.
This may be my most unpopular post I ever put on this blog, but I felt I needed to say something. My career choice and my experience as one who has been given the gift of life would not allow me to not say something. You don't have to agree....but you should be thinking about all the points made. The world cannot afford for you not to.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Arizona and another loss
Tulsa heart transplants lost another member this month. Seems we're losing more and more, which is a scary thought for those of us left. I had a discussion with some of my faculty members the other day about the fact that there are so many things that can go wrong even after 5+ years of doing well. At this point, it usually isn't rejection issues that get you but failure of other organs, cancer, or strokes that come into play because of all the medications we take. Thank goodness that I have decent insurance that helps with the cost of meds and procedures. I'll be having my annual heart cath in February to make sure all is still functioning well. I think that will be my 9th during all of pre and post transplant care.
Arizona caught my attention this week. The state has decided to not finance (via Medicaid) transplant operations of any kind. Currently, there are over 600 people who are waiting on some type of organ transplant. In the midst of all of this decision making, three people have died waiting on transplants.
Heart transplants aren't cheap because of all the aftercare. The surgery itself isn't much more than open heart surgery...it usually takes less time than an open heart surgery believe it or not. But the follow up medications are very expensive. I am assuming that is the main reason why Arizona chose to not finance transplants. But I feel for those waiting on the list. When you have been told that your only chance to live is to have a transplant, then have some government official tell you that you aren't one of the "chosen ones" who will be "allowed" to have a transplant, what hope do you have?
I'll be interested in seeing if any of this was part of today's shooting of an Arizona Congresswoman today. The comments of the law enforcement officers were pretty accurate...we have got to get away from the rheortic of hatred and return to the caring of each other. This shooting may have absolutely nothing to do with transplants, but the return of caring of each other does. No matter what your political affiliation, no matter how you feel about government health care, if that was your family member who needed a transplant and was told they couldn't have it....you would have strong feelings too.
Once again, I thank God for the support of family and friends, a great school system and insurance, and a family who followed the wishes of a 20 year old young woman who wanted to help her fellow man (or woman in my case). Let's start looking out for each other and stop running everyone down.
Arizona caught my attention this week. The state has decided to not finance (via Medicaid) transplant operations of any kind. Currently, there are over 600 people who are waiting on some type of organ transplant. In the midst of all of this decision making, three people have died waiting on transplants.
Heart transplants aren't cheap because of all the aftercare. The surgery itself isn't much more than open heart surgery...it usually takes less time than an open heart surgery believe it or not. But the follow up medications are very expensive. I am assuming that is the main reason why Arizona chose to not finance transplants. But I feel for those waiting on the list. When you have been told that your only chance to live is to have a transplant, then have some government official tell you that you aren't one of the "chosen ones" who will be "allowed" to have a transplant, what hope do you have?
I'll be interested in seeing if any of this was part of today's shooting of an Arizona Congresswoman today. The comments of the law enforcement officers were pretty accurate...we have got to get away from the rheortic of hatred and return to the caring of each other. This shooting may have absolutely nothing to do with transplants, but the return of caring of each other does. No matter what your political affiliation, no matter how you feel about government health care, if that was your family member who needed a transplant and was told they couldn't have it....you would have strong feelings too.
Once again, I thank God for the support of family and friends, a great school system and insurance, and a family who followed the wishes of a 20 year old young woman who wanted to help her fellow man (or woman in my case). Let's start looking out for each other and stop running everyone down.
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