One Step at a Time

We lost another transplant survivor this week, and Chuck continues to have issues and is back in ICU.  Usually around this time of the year, the Kidney, Heart, and Lung transplant patients have a celebrity softball game against local TV/radio personalities and either the Fire or Police in the Tulsa area.  One of the main organizers of this is Chuck, however, since he is in ICU he can't.  The other was Dick Thomason, who passed away last fall. 

I have been having feelings of inadequacy lately in a variety of areas of my life.  I have wanted to be more involved with transplant survivors for quite a while, but have not been able to find that niche that would fit me and my situation.  School issues, personal issues, the list goes on and on.  It doesn't help that this is a very stressful period of time at school with state testing starting and all the state requirements that must be met or your site suffers serious penalites.

I wish I had the energy to undertake the role of helping to organize the softball game.  Truth is, I've never been more mentally or physically tired since right before the transplant.  In addition, my parents are having their own physical issues that may soon require decisions that they won't want to make, and that I really wish they didn't have to.  Or, I'm going to have to get closer to them.  I understand how they feel about those decisions...I had the same feelings when I was considering the transplant and the aftermath. 

Don't do the transplant = die.  Do the transplant = face a life of multiple medicines that do a variety of things to your body, constant tests at the hospital, costs involved with medications and surgeries, and the list goes on and on.  Sell the home you've lived in for 30 years and move closer to your son and daughter....stay in the house and hope your daughter can find a job nearby to help when those instances of falling, rapidly dropping sugar, and small strokes occur.

My parents have done everything they could possibly do for me....the least I can do is the same for them.  It is something that all of we children will be facing someday, and all of us who have children will join them in facing as we get older.

I just hope I can be around long enough, and have the energy and health, to be as helpful as I can be.  And I hope I can find some way to help others out as well.  At times when the mental and physical level is low, I just need to remember how fortunate I am....and keep taking one step at a time.

Pray for Chuck

If you've been reading my blog you might remember the guy who called out of the blue prior to my transplant and helped me understand what I was facing, then followed up by coming to the hospital and staying with my friends and family as the transplant happened.  Chuck is a very positive man, full of faith and energized to do all he can to help transplant families. 

I had not see Chuck at clinic in about a year, and only saw him for a few minutes at Dick Thomason's funeral in the fall.  At that time I thought he looked a little thinner and tired, but funerals of transplant patients is often hard on we transplant people so I didn't think much of it.

About two weeks ago I received an email from the transplant support group that informed us that Chuck was in ICU with a bacterial infection from his chemo for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  He is 16 years out this month.  See, if you survive the first 5-7 years without major complications from the transplant the next hurdle you will face will be the side effects of the medications we have to take to keep from rejecting. 

It is not unusual for transplant patients to have another organ fail (usually liver or kidney if you've had a heart transplant) or develop cancer related issues.  Thus why we continue to go in and have blood work done every couple of months.  Not that they can detect cancer that way, but they can monitor liver and kidney failure.

In my family, we have a big history of cancer.  Half of my mother's siblings have died from a very aggressive cancer....and two of her cousins as well.  On my father's side, he just lost a sister who battled leukemia for many years as well as losing an eye to cancer.  My father has survived prostrate cancer and my brother has survived the same non-Hodgkin's cancer that Chuck is dealing with.  So, I know my odds are not good in this area.  The medication has already made me a slight diabetic so I can tell the effects are starting.

But, I've decided to just take the attitude of living each day the best I can.  I can't control if I develop cancer and there really isn't much I can do about it except get all the yearly tests that I have to do.  I could be in constant worry and run scared, or I can just go out and enjoy the extra time that I have been granted.

I vote to enjoy the extra time.  I think Chuck would agree.  He is the father of two boys, married to a wonderful lady, a dedicated Christian, and a good friend.  Please remember him in your prayers.....I do.