For Chuck, With Love

Every now and then, God places very special people in your path of life.  You may not realize it at the time, or take it for granted when it happens, but you do when they leave.  I knew Chuck Stophel was special the first moment I ever spoke to him, but I didn't realize at the time how much I would be blessed by him.

The Fall of 2004 was a difficult one for me.  I had been accepted into the transplant program and was just waiting for the call.  I had taken my time deciding on going ahead with the transplant for several factors:  not wanting to take a heart away from a child who might have a longer chance at life, the complications and rejection issues that develop from the surgery and medications that you take, the cost of long term care after. 

One evening, an Emmaus friend of mine - Nancy Williams - asked me if it would be ok to give my phone number to a man that sang in her praise band with her at Asbury.  Recently, she had learned that he had a heart transplant in his mid '20's and thought that I might benefit from talking with him.  Her nursing radar went up as soon as she found out and she felt that he might be able to help with some of my concerns.  So, a week or so later, my phone rang about 8pm one evening and this sweet voice said, "Hi, my name is Chuck Stophel and you don't know me but I think we are going to have a lot in common soon."  And for the next 90 minutes, we talked about transplants, life as a transplant patient, practical jokes he pulled with kids as a result (a jello heart meal in front of elementary kids resulted in a lot of throwing up!), and faith.  And after I hung up, I felt better than I had for a long time.

On my next visit to the transplant clinic, Chuck happened to be there and so we met.  Chuck and Dick Thomson were the unspoken leaders of the transplant support team and would often come in on Tuesday's to check on other patients and offer ways to help.  He was about 38 and had been post transplant, I believe, about 10 years.  He had battled cancer as a young child and won.  His office had come down with a lot of flu related illnesses and he went to the doctor to get put on medication to prevent catching it himself since he had two small sons (one a newborn) in his house.  While there, they discovered his heart problem.

Back in those days, when you got to the point of not being able to get around they put you in the hospital.  Chuck's issue progressed rapidly and soon he was hospitalized, leaving his young wife and children behind.  But Chuck was a very strong Christian and never lost his faith...and despite several weeks of hospitalization he did have a match come through. 

The day that I got the call for a possible heart, they were having clinic so Chuck was there.  Clinic didn't want people to know what was going on so they snuck me into the hospital then out to CICU, but somehow Chuck found out what was happening.  He came up to CICU, met my family and friends, and provided several laughs as we waited to see if the heart was going to be a match.  As the day became longer, Chuck still hung around.  They thought we might be able to do the surgery that evening...then sometime around midnight, then eventually they said it would be early the next morning.  All the time, Chuck stayed.  He came into to ICU one time with tears running down his face from laughing at a couple of my friends who were staring outside at the Lifeflight helicopter, thinking it might contain the heart, and he had quietly walked up behind them then loudly proclaimed that it the window was loose or something like that.  He told me it was like watching "hear no evil/see no evil/speak no evil" and that they had jumped about 5 feet high.  The next day as I was in surgery he explained everything that was going on as the calls came in about progress, and he followed up with checking on my family and friends the days I stayed in the hospital.

My first outing was to attend Easter services at Asbury, where Chuck sang a special during the service.  Chuck had been blessed with a beautiful voice that he used as praise to the Lord.  He saw us in the lobby and came and spent some time with us.  Next time was at the Transplant softball game where Chuck was the organizer and MC.  His small sons played for him.  I never had the chance to actually meet his wife, Sara, but it was always obvious from the way he spoke about her that she was the love of his life.  Chuck and Sara did some ministry with couples and started doing some traveling, so for a while I didn't see him as often.

Then, two years ago came the sad news that cancer had returned to his life.  As a transplant patient, the medications you take have some serious side effects and can cause cancer.  It didn't help that Chuck had battled it when he was healthy; it made the chance for it coming back much stronger with being on anti-rejection drugs.  When Dick passed away (also from cancer), I noticed that he didn't look well and he told me what was going on.  He was undergoing chemo and it was taking a toll on him.  A few weeks later, I heard that he had taken a turn for the worse and they weren't sure that he'd be able to get through any further chemo.

But, that didn't stop Chuck.  It was close but he fought on with faith that he would not lose this battle, and he won.  He had started working at ORU just prior to being diagnosed but the expense of the bills and the insurance were an issue, so some of his friends held a fund-raising event for him that my parents and I attended.  Chuck was weak but he was reveling in the event and proclaimed at the end that he would defeat this challenge with the prayers of his friends.  And he was able to go back to work for a short period of time.

But, it came back and he was back to doing chemo, traveling to MD Anderson, and fighting the fight again.  Last night, cancer may have beat his body but it never beat his spirit.  He remained faithful to the end, praising the Lord with his testimony, faith, and song. 
Chuck told me that he wanted to do the transplant because he wanted to live long enough to see his sons become Men of God.  From what I've read on Facebook, he accomplished that.  Nik posted a picture of his parents during Chuck's last moments on this earth....Chuck with tubes but his eyes bright and open looking adoringly at Sara, who was holding his had and smiling at him.  Nik said he'd been blessed to have had them as role models and thanked his father for teaching him what true faith was.

I'm going to miss Chuck.  While we didn't talk as often as we should have (my fault, not his) recently, I always knew he was there and would understand whatever I was going through.  But like Nik, Asher, Cres, and Sara....I was blessed to have him lead by example in life, in faith, and in death.

Well done, Good and Faithful Servant.