The Dozen

Next Thursday will be my 12 year transplant anniversary.  According to my cardio doc, I've managed to be two years over the average with my only issues being a bout of CMV and a rejection issue about 4 years ago.  At this point, most transplant patients have had a major rejection or dealt with the side effects of the numerous drugs we take...so far, I've just dealt with the one (in his opinion) major rejection issue.

I recently went to the cardio doc for my 6 month check up.  He wasn't pleased that I self elected to drop my prednisone down in half, however, I was not getting more than 3 hours of sleep even with sleep medication on it.  Now, I'm able to get at least 5-6 hours of solid sleep nearly every night.  All my blood work came back in normal ranges but he does want to run an echo to make sure I haven't started some rejection issues with my self diagnosis of meds.

His one recommendation, however, was that I find a way to reduce my stress level.  Now, in the current state of education in Oklahoma, frankly that is impossible.  If it isn't the way we are treated, the poor pay we receive, it is the lack of interest by parents and students.  Not all, mind you, but I spend over 90% of my time with the 474 students on my case load dealing with students and/or parents who don't care or can't handle their children.  If you can't tell, I'm really disappointed in the state of education in Oklahoma.  I'm even disappointed in my own district.

There are a great many outstanding educators in this state.  But who can blame them for wanting to leave to go to states where they are appreciated and payed a reasonable salary.  Where they don't have to work two jobs to feed their kids or pay their bills.  For the past two years we have gathered together and voiced our concerns to legislators who don't care, yet people in this state keep electing the same non-listeners.

Doc suggested that I stop working, but I have bills to pay and early retirement will only cover my insurance and pharmacy bill, which I obviously still need to stay alive.  So, in all honesty, I have been looking out of state and may have a solution on the horizon.  I just need to make sure that the pay will be worth leaving Oklahoma 5 years before I can retire.  However, if I stay here another 5 years it may kill me...literally.  While I'm not one to walk away from a fight, for the sake of living a few years longer it is something I seriously have to consider.

I recently read through my journals the two years prior to the transplant and the two years after.  It was amazing how the Body of Christ worked through so many people during that time.  From conversations, to acts of kindness, to friends hanging out at the hospital multiple times, to friends' children and students sending me pictures, cards, or calling.  Then, to learning that one of my favorite (I know we're not supposed to have any....but Allen was special) students who suffered a trauma gave his organs simply because of hearing what someone had done for me the week before.  I was touched and blessed every step of the way.

Four years ago when I had the rejection issue, I was blessed again by family and staff at SIHS as we battled to get back on track.  I truly didn't think it was a big deal, but according to the doc it was really serious.  I've always been one who hated to go to the doctor, so that little event taught me to listen to my body a little closer.  My recent bouts with bone fractures in my back and bone issues in my ankles are telling me that I need to listen better and not wait till it is almost too late to fix these things.

Recently, my body has been telling me it is tired.  The pace of my job is extremely fast, and as I said, deals with difficult situations on a constant basis.  It may be time to move to something smaller with people who are serious about their future.  I'm going to have to decide in the next few weeks what next year is going to be like.  I'd like to ask one more thing from all those who have supported me in the past....pray that I make the right decision for my health and life.  I'll keep you updated.