13 Is Not An Unlucky Number

As I sit here tonight listening to the rain hit the roof, I can't help but remember what happened 13 years ago because while the nights are similar, the locations are much different, 


I walked into my school today without running out of breath and worked a full day.  That day 13 years ago, I had stopped a couple of times as I walked in, sat down at my desk, and started counting the number of days till Spring Break.  I could tell I was degenerating rapidly, and I knew that working till the middle of March was going to be very difficult to do.  It had been a hard couple of weeks.  I'd lost a cousin to cancer and a friend at work had her daughter murdered while working by her ex-husband.  I can't even begin to tell you the emotions I felt as I sat in their services.  Would this be happening again to my family and friends soon?  Had I planned (because those of you that really know me know I do this) everything well enough so my family wouldn't have to?


As I was looking at the calendar, my cell phone rang.  They had a possible match in OKC but needed me to give them some additional vials of blood to test to make sure it was the right match.  Never mind that I had given 6 vials earlier that week...they'd been sent all over the US because my doctors were seeing the same thing I was.  And of course, this was the busiest time of year for work and family.


But, family was reached and to the hospital I went.  Later in the afternoon it became obvious that this was going to work, but then Oklahoma weather hit.  First it was the rain, then the ice, then the snow, then back to rain.  The plan to Lifeflight to OKC went out the window.  As the evening wore on and other transplant teams were having difficulty getting to OKC, most of my family and friends went home to rest leaving me with my thoughts.


I'd made peace with a great many things so I was ready to accept whatever outcome developed, but that still didn't change the uncertainty of knowing this could possibly be your last night in this world.  I thought about memories and people I hadn't thought of in years and while I was told I needed to rest, there was no sleeping.  I wanted to have every moment while I could.


When they came in and told me they'd gone to harvest, my family and friends once again showed up.  The nurses argued about where they should all wait when they came to get me, and all I could think of was "hey...I'm the one here that may live or die...get me to the operating room and figure all this out later!"


Obviously, the transplant worked and after many procedures, doctor visits, and thousand upon thousand of pills, I'm fortunate enough to still be here.  There have been times when I wondered if I was going to be around much longer...like about this time last year.  And my cardiologist basically told me the same thing...change your stress or you won't be around in a couple of years.


So, I did.  I accepted a position in Arkansas working with scholars who want to learn and come to school and with much less numbers.  I'm as busy as I was before, but my stress level is so much less.  It was sad to leave friends who have supported me for @ 15 years of this (the before and after) but we stay in touch.  And I've made fantastic new friends here that are as supportive and caring. 


And I still know there are no guarantees on this.  I'm about 3 years past the average right now.  All I asked in the beginning was to be at my parents 50th wedding anniversary and see my family/friends children graduate high school.  The folks are soon approaching 60 and the kids are almost there.  Whatever time I'm granted, and I've always considered this bonus time, I want to use to the best of my ability.  And I still want to be there for my family, and fortunately Dr. S understands that.


So, as the rain falls and the memories flood, I find myself once again grateful to a family who on this day grieves for their loss.  I hope Tiffani's family takes comfort in knowing that others, like myself, have been given a second opportunity based on her generosity.  I'm trying to honor the life that was lost by living mine to the fullest and with purpose.  I hope she's proud.