Blizzard of '11 and other thoughts

Yesterday we recieved 15" of snow with 40 mph gusts in our little town.  Needless to say, the world has come crashing to a stop as we just do not have the equipment to cope in our state.  So, I've been spending a great deal of time playing on the computer, reading books, watching DVD's, and generally trying not to go nuts as I wait to see if there will be any thawing in the next week or so.

Some nice person did come last night and scraped my drive, at least as much as they could.  Since all my wordly possessions are in this duplex, including my car in the garage, it was nice to know that if the roof came crashing down I would not lose everything because I could possibly escape.  Now, the docs have always told me to not get out when the air gets below 20 degress or so because it causes our hearts would have to work so hard to keep our bodies warm.  But, I've never obeyed that command.

So, today I got out and shoveled out a path to my front door and knocked down what the mystery scrapper couldn't get.  I do have to admit, near zero temps and 15" of snow with drifts up to 4 feet were a little challenging.  I had plans to do some more but after about 45 minutes, I decided enough was enough.

So, I came in and started scouring the Internet.  I ran across a blog about heart conditions that talked about cell memory.  I've had a few people ask me if I developed any memories, cravings, or other odd sensations after having the transplant.  I can't say that I have.  Maybe that is because my donor and I had similar interests in the first place....we both played softball, we both loved music (although she played in a band and I have not), we both were close to our families.  Her grandmother (who raised her after her parents divorced) has called my parents and talked to them...as recently as two weeks ago...but I have not been able to get the courage to meet them.  Part of it is a feeling that they might want more of a relationship than I'm willing to give.  I am most appreciative of the gift they have given me, but I cannot replace their granddaughter, and it wouldn't be fair to her memory to attempt to do so.

The blog also talked about depression in transplant patients, even to the point of committing suicide.  I will admit there are times that one gets tired of all the pills, the side effects, the tests and hospital visits, and other things.  And there have been some dark days...but doesn't everyone have dark days every now and then?  My biggest problem has been when I didn't meet goals that I had set for myself after the transplant...new job, own a home, a significiant other, etc. but again, doesn't that happen to everyone. 

I realize that there are only so many years that I have with this new heart...if I'm lucky at least 20.  (And I'm getting ready for my 6th year anniversary this month.)  I can't see wasting any of the extra time I've been given and have tried to use these "extra years" to help others.  In some cases I have succeeded, in some I have not.  But for those I've failed I'm hoping that at some point they will remember some small tidbit that they will find helpful later in life, at a time that I may never know about. 

I think that is the lasting legacy I can give to Tiffani's memory.  And even though I never met her, I think she would approve.  If that is cell memory, then so be it.

Flu time!

Seems the flu has attacked my school this week.  Numerous staff members have been down for 5 or more days, students are checking out more and more everyday.  Not a happy sight for someone who doesn't have an immune system!

On top of that, we're attempting (if we don't get the predicted 4" + of snow tonight) to enroll our 8th graders to 9th grade...an all day and evening event that is supposed to occur tomorrow.  This will mean that not only will I have to deal with the possibility of picking up something from the kids, but also from the general public.  Oh joy.

I try to avoid being in crowds after the first of the year as much as I can.  I used to love to go to basketball games...now, I don't.  I don't attend church as often as I used to for fear of picking up some type of bug.  I watch attending concerts during this time of the year for the same thing. 

Now, I could probably do all of this if I'd just give in and wear that stupid, hot, non-flattering surgical mask that the Transplant clinic always insists that I wear.  But they don't have to take in the stares when you go into a Quik Trip for a hot cocoa, or try to find something that goes with the baby blue or yellow thing on your face.

Oh well....college basketball and NASCAR start up before long....if I can survive the school I can hang out at home on the weekends.  And, if I catch it....let's just hope I don't have to visit my pink palace for an extended stay!

Good Out of Bad

What a tragedy in Arizona this week...what a waste of human life.  A obviously mentally unstable young man took a semi-automatic gun and started firing at a Safeway store where the local Congresswoman was holding a "Congress on the Corner" event.  He killed 7 innocent people who were just there to see their goverment representative and express what they'd like to see her attempt to do for them at the national level.

I won't even begin to get into the rheotric being passed around regarding whether the tone of our current political arena is what set this individual off.  I was raised in a family where if you couldn't say anything good about another you were better off keeping your mouth shut.  But, if there were some truth to that, then I would wish that all who were responsible would think of the 9 year old victim before they opened their mouth.  Words do hurt...I see it everyday at school.  If you think they don't then your living in the world this individual apparently did.

There are two items I can address in this situation, however.  First, we aren't addressing mental health issues in this country correctly or fast enough.  When parents take their children for in-patient services, their insurance tells them how long they can stay, not whether the child is "better" or able to cope.  I have students come back to my school that have no business being there, but because we are a public school we have to continue to serve them.  Sometimes they are served through a home-based situation, sometimes they are back on campus.  I often think of a conversation Spock and Captain Kirk have in one of the Star Trek movies...."the good of the many are greater than the good of the one".  Sometimes the rights of an individual should not be more important than the safety of the many.  I am in no way excusing the acts of this individual, but I do believe and see everyday others that could do the same act that are not getting the help they need.

We also have a stigma about people who have mental health issues...truth be told, we all have some mental issue but it manifest itself worse in some individuals.  We need to start thinking of helping people, not labeling them.  In most cases, with appropriate counseling and sometimes medication, people can live and survive in society with no major issues.

Secondly, today I learned that the 9 year old victim was an organ donor...now, I'm sure she didn't make this decision on her own but her family probably did.  Out of their grief they seeked something good.  I'm positive that the person/people that are now gaining another chance to live, to see, to function are grateful for their gift.  I'm also sure that they will be saddened to hear of how it occurred.  Out of something bad, something good happened to these people. 

God bless the parents and family of this child.  I certainly hope that in their hours of sadness and darkness they take comfort in knowing that others are living through their daughter.

This may be my most unpopular post I ever put on this blog, but I felt I needed to say something.  My career choice and my experience as one who has been given the gift of life would not allow me to not say something.  You don't have to agree....but you should be thinking about all the points made.  The world cannot afford for you not to.