small world - big heart

I was just scanning through my recent blogs and noticed that I had a transplant survivor as a follower.  So, being the curious person that I am, I hit the link and checked out his blog.  Then, I checked out his followers.  Wow, what a wake up call.

Here I am complaining about a bunch of little things and some of these people are fighting major rejection issues, dealing with complications from medications, facing more disease.  Talk about a slap in the face.  Despite all of this, they continue to be grateful for the simple act of living.  They are grateful for being alive, not complaining about their job, their homelife or lack of social life, or how they sometimes feel like someone else is living in their body with them.

Just reminded me that about 7 years ago this weekend, I could have been placed in a cemetery myself.  The "procedure that became the ordeal" fiasco.  Instead of going to decorate graves, someone could be coming to decorate mine.  What a reality check.

To all those who have survived and continue to live and inspire me, thank you.

Why can't they just trust me?

So, in March I had bloodwork ran that showed my cyclosporine levels had dropped waayyy down, and I was put on more cyclorsporine.  Now, what you need to know about this drug is that it has some serious side effects.  Some of the more minor ones involve leg cramps, mood/mental alterations, and insomnia.  So, off we went with an increase of 25 mg per day over my usual 100 mg .

Now, I've done this before, and I know when I feel worse.  And sure enough, the last three weeks have been hell.  Between not going to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night with major leg cramps, and having some really wierd dreams and thoughts, I had a feeling that the level had gotten too high.

Well, yesterday's reading seemed to indicate it.  What should be around 100-120 was 384, but since it had gone up so much the docs thought I'd taken my meds before I had bloodwork ran.  Now, come on...how many of these labs have I had done in the last 5 years?  Only once did that happen and it was because nobody told me they were going to do bloodwork.

So, today I had to go back and have it ran again....this time it was 184 and they were telling me to keep the same amount going.  Most of the time, I don't argue but this time I had to.  So, yet another run to SFH for bloodwork and clinic on the 8th...and hopefully somebody will finally believe me.  I don't think I can keep up with these side effects much longer.