Perspectives

Eight days ago a community of 50,000 were doing what they normally do on a Sunday afternoon.  For some, it was a special day because they were participating in or watching a high school graduation where kids were starting their own futures.  For others, they were were heading to church to worship.  Some were visiting friends in the hospital, others were working.  All would have never believed how their world would change around 5:30 on that Sunday.

The EF5 tornado that ripped through Joplin, Missouri, was a cause of concern for my family and I.  We have immediate and extended family members and friends who live in Webb City and within a couple of blocks of St. John's Hospital.  Amazingly enough, through social media we were able to discover that they were ok.  But so many were not.  Graduates ripped out of their vehicles as they were trying to get home.  Elderly residents who were bedridden and could not get to a safe location. Shoppers out to pick up items at Home Depot and Wal-Mart.  Customers eating pizza.

Those who are left are trying to find anything, any item, that would help them hang on to their past.  And their looking through piles of debris and communities miles away since the wind carried things up to 70 miles away.

I sat in my home last week and looked around, grateful for what I had and wondering what I would grab if I were put in their place.  Came close to it one night as we were "ripe for action" as our local weathermen called it.  Family pictures hang on my wall.  My Grandmother's tatting in a shadow box.  My camera's.  My computers that have all my family pictures scanned on their hard drives.  My medicines that keep me alive.

I'm blessed and I often forget that.  I'm sad that it took this tragedy to remind me, but it did.  I've been given a second chance, and I need to take advantage of that.  I've been re-evaluating some things in my life and hopefully some things will come forward to fruitation.  But if not, then all I need to do is remember Joplin, and how lucky I am to have what I have.

And Yet He Still Smiles

The folks and I went to a fundraiser for Chuck yesterday.  For those of you that don't remember, Chuck is the guy who called out of the blue to raise my spirits prior to the transplant and stayed with my family while I underwent the transplant.  He also is one of the main individuals in this area who does all he can to promote organ donation and often organizes all of our transplant events. 

Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma this year and has had many complications from it.  It is not unusual for tranplant patients to get this, in fact, it is almost a guarantee at some point or another.  He went septic shortly after starting chemo and was touch and go there for a while, but recently was allowed to leave the hospital and seems to be holding his own.  However, his medical expenses (which are high as a transplant patient anyway) have been a heavy burden for his family and a group of people organized "ChuckFest" where a silent auction, music, food, and general fun was held to help gather money for the family and expenses.

There was Chuck....sitting in a wheelchair...no hair...about 60 pounds thinner...still smiling.  He was happy to see me and my folks when we walked up to him.  He said his heart was in great shape but the rest of him took a little vacation for a while, but he fights on.  As LeAnne Taylor, a local media celebrity who is a friend of Chuck's put it, God isn't done with him yet.  In fact, God is still doing great things in his life.  He met a nurse at the hospital who turned out to be the one who talked his donor family into doing organ donation, which turned out to be the heart Chuck got.  They've gotten to be great friends through all this.

I wish the small amount I was able to donate to Chuck could be 100X the amount it was, because Chuck was so much help to us.  Even as he continues to battle, he also continues to laugh and smile about the challenges he's faced and is still facing.  His family continues to support him, most especially his wife.

Yet, I also can't help but wonder if I'll have to face something similar.  Our family history with cancer is not that great and transplant patients with no immune system...well, let's just say it is quite the fight.  I've recently been thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my time here.  I used to think I wanted to be an administrator but I'm pretty sure that I don't want to do discipline all day long...I get enough of dealing with that as a counselor as it is.  I enjoy working with curriculum and helping people with new technology and teaching methods.  I even get into evaluating test results!  But asking me to deal with misbehaving kids all day long...as much as I want to get into administration I just don't think that is for me.  And, knowing that the possibility that I may have to deal with cancer and all those ramification any time in the future...well, it just doesn't seem like it is in the cards for me.

Like Chuck, I hope God isn't done with me yet.  I just wish He'd provide a little guidance into what direction I should start looking for my future.  I've always loved the verse in Jeremiah..."I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil..." but there are times when I wish He'd clue me in a little bit.  I should just take a clue from Chuck....and trust that God knows best.  And try to keep smiling.

One Step at a Time

We lost another transplant survivor this week, and Chuck continues to have issues and is back in ICU.  Usually around this time of the year, the Kidney, Heart, and Lung transplant patients have a celebrity softball game against local TV/radio personalities and either the Fire or Police in the Tulsa area.  One of the main organizers of this is Chuck, however, since he is in ICU he can't.  The other was Dick Thomason, who passed away last fall. 

I have been having feelings of inadequacy lately in a variety of areas of my life.  I have wanted to be more involved with transplant survivors for quite a while, but have not been able to find that niche that would fit me and my situation.  School issues, personal issues, the list goes on and on.  It doesn't help that this is a very stressful period of time at school with state testing starting and all the state requirements that must be met or your site suffers serious penalites.

I wish I had the energy to undertake the role of helping to organize the softball game.  Truth is, I've never been more mentally or physically tired since right before the transplant.  In addition, my parents are having their own physical issues that may soon require decisions that they won't want to make, and that I really wish they didn't have to.  Or, I'm going to have to get closer to them.  I understand how they feel about those decisions...I had the same feelings when I was considering the transplant and the aftermath. 

Don't do the transplant = die.  Do the transplant = face a life of multiple medicines that do a variety of things to your body, constant tests at the hospital, costs involved with medications and surgeries, and the list goes on and on.  Sell the home you've lived in for 30 years and move closer to your son and daughter....stay in the house and hope your daughter can find a job nearby to help when those instances of falling, rapidly dropping sugar, and small strokes occur.

My parents have done everything they could possibly do for me....the least I can do is the same for them.  It is something that all of we children will be facing someday, and all of us who have children will join them in facing as we get older.

I just hope I can be around long enough, and have the energy and health, to be as helpful as I can be.  And I hope I can find some way to help others out as well.  At times when the mental and physical level is low, I just need to remember how fortunate I am....and keep taking one step at a time.